Honolulu is a beautiful place to live – it’s paradise! But it’s also a great place to die. Whether you’re just visiting, or you’re an old-timer, here are the 7 most popular places the locals go to become dead.
“This is just the best place to die, so I’ve heard. You’ve got your natural beauty in the coral reef and fish ecosystems, and you’re safe from sharks getting you after you’re dead for a while – until the tide takes you out, of course!” – A.D., Kahaluu
“If there’s a better place to have a stroke and drop dead, I can’t think of one!” – Beverly, Kaneohe
“I’ve just always wanted to go quietly in my sleep after a sizable orgy.” – Linda Lingle, Hawaii Kai
“Brah, the ocean is my savior brah. But if she says it’s time to go, brah k den. I go. Shoooots.” – Bodie, Waimea
“Soup is my favorite food. I would love to die while eating it.” – Jerry, Makiki
“….. Oh. Did you mean, like where would we die or where would we be buried? Sorry can you repeat the question.” – Ed, Honolulu
“It’s where I am right now and it feels like I’m already dead and FUCKING STUCK IN FUCKING HELL HONESTLY FUCK! GET ME OUT OF HERE.” – Jessica, Ko Olina